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Success psychology

Emotionality against composure

Difference between an emotionality and composure almost same as between "is tasty" and it "is useful". On the one hand, it is not necessary to anybody to prove, that from composure – continuous advantage. It will not allow to lose a head at force-majeur or to become puzzled at a public statement. And in general, the present hero is always quiet and ironic. But at the same time to cool people the suspicious relation.

It is considered, that if the person is cool, it is by all means dryish and in something is emotionally deprived. Differently, composure it is boring. Why? Yes because there are no emotions. Hence, there is no completeness of a life. And it then is necessary to us, this composure? Not for nothing many visionaries with ecstasy drew terrifying pictures of the future in which there will be no place to emotions, and people will make a definitive choice in favour of rational reasonable decisions.

 

Ice and пламень

Strictly speaking, emotions and reason are given us for regulation of own behaviour.

 

However, emotions – much more ancient mechanism. Therefore they also dictate more primitive decisions, than reason. But emotions add energy: the decision accepted «on emotions» causes such mobilisation of forces which any rational argument is not capable to provoke. Any «it is necessary to me» will not give such tone and a drive as «Here an infection, well I will prove to it». We usually recollect composure, having committed follies and not having calculated consequences.

 

There is a certain mass relation both to composure, and to an excessive emotionality. Frequently excessive impulsiveness becomes even more preferable, than composure. Not there is some majority of creations of a mass culture sings pure незамутненную (and at times and nothing мотивированную) of passion and a falls of emotions. And even having heard the story about certain acquaintances who that marry, and in a month with noise get divorced, it leaves away, and it catches up with a train by a taxi and having put out from a window Masha cries out «, I have forgiven you!», involuntarily you catch yourself on thought: «Here it is a life at people … a continuous high water of feelings».

 

On this background composure is looked absolutely невыигрышно. The widespread error consists that composure is frequently equated to absence of any emotions as a whole. While composure – only ability to supervise own feelings. We take for an example group of the students, preparing to pass examination to the severe teacher. One shiver a small shiver and are ready to be slapped on command in a faint. Others shiver less intensively. But it does not mean, that it it is not terrible: simply they are able to keep a tight rein on own feelings.

 

Пороть a fever

In general, the norm outlining borders of an emotionality, does not exist. Much depends on temperament (in other words, forces and speeds of mental processes). For one to bang ware is a humdrum of life. For other public display of emotions is represented business outstanding. So to worry concerning the emotionality it is necessary when she starts to prevent to live. For example:

 

- Emotions start to operate the person therefore the situation leaves from under the control. We will admit, somebody has squabbled with the heads because of a trifling problem. But in the course of finding-out of relations has inflated a situation and it was got so, that sees now only one exit – to leave from this hated work.

 

- Emotions for a long time unsettle. Speech not about strong stress after which the regenerative period is really necessary, and is faster about when the tested irritation does not pass in any way, expands, will not turn yet to an evening headache.

 

- The person gets to dependence on strong emotion – and starts to search for an occasion to a meeting with it. It can be desire to test euphoria or to vent on somebody aggression.

 

In similar cases it is time to be engaged in a control establishment over emotions.

 

To supervise emotions

First of all it is necessary to understand what to supervise emotions and to suppress them is it two absolutely different things. Regularly losing an emotional discharge, in due course it is possible to earn psychosomatic diseases. If to present own feelings in the form of the crane with water flowing from it suppressing the feelings, we as though completely close this crane. And here ability to increase and reduce force and a water pressure is and there is an ability to supervise the emotions.

 

For work with emotions there is a set of ways – from auto-training before yoga practice. But is and some ways of independent work.

 

To distribute emotions. The more quantity of situations which cause in us emotions, the displays of feelings in each of them are less intensive. Differently, than more widely at the person a circle of contacts, the more cultural luggage, the more easy it reacts on any эмоциогенные situations.

 

To be switched. In this case it is necessary to transfer destructive emotions from a situation causing in you pressure, to the neutral. The most simple example of switching is Japanese tradition according to which the subordinate of the house thrashes in the evenings a pillow with the image of the chief. By the way, today this technology is strongly improved: now the Japanese technical industry makes special house robots by which it is possible to beat and offend, and those in the answer will bow and apologise submissively.

 

To concentrate. This way is better to apply in the situations demanding a concentration on one, but the extremely important problem. In this case it is necessary to exclude meaningly from a life hit possibility in situation which could provoke emotional splash. For example, if blood from a nose it is necessary for you to write the annual report it is better to disconnect a mobile phone, to lock a door and for a while to forget about external world existence. All is better, than to refuse invitations well to spend evening, to get exhausted with pity to itself, having stared unseeing eyes in the hated report.