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Legal consultation

Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
If you had legal issues, the problems connected with realisation of your rights, and also the questions, concerning legislations, write.

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Development of the person

How to agree with difficult people

THE ROWDY

Why, actually, this person so shouts? He wants, that to it have paid a maximum of attention and have immediately taken measures. And can be, he is assured, that the more loudly he will speak, the faster you will be reached by an essence of its statement-acquaintance a phenomenon for all who went abroad, not knowing language.

As with it to agree:

To try to outvoice it, and furthermore to put into place, it is useless. To the person who has got used to achieve the shout and abuse, usually all the same, that about it associates think. It to you its shouts deliver discomfort, and the rowdy feels quite at home.

Do not try to change it in favourite game: it practises it longer, than you, and with the great pleasure. To begin with attentively, easy and not interrupting listen to him. Give to it выкричаться. Let he will be convinced, that you hear it and understand. Find out in detail, he offers what variants of the decision of a problem. Usually to it is what to offer.

Talking to it, look it in the face, not taking away a sight. Rowdies-usually self-assured people for whom all world shares on strong and weak; looking to it in eyes, you show, that is not weaker than it. At the best he you зауважает, in the worst-will understand, that you not from about whom it is possible to wipe feet. After the rowdy was uttered and has cooled down, it - yours. State the offers-was maximum easy and firmly. Appeal not to emotions, and to the facts.

The criticism jumps aside from the rowdy, as fraction from the tank. Therefore to criticise it it is simply useless. Remember: you deal with very independent and independent person. Instead of stating in its address of charge, force it to criticise itself. For example, if it your colleague, do not speak: "you work too slowly", ask is better: "As it seems to you, we will have time to finish the project if we will work in such rate?" Only try to speak absolutely neutral tone: rowdies perfectly feel aggression and with readiness answer the same.

THE DEBATER

The fan to argue at the slightest pretext is similar to the hero from yoghurt advertising: in it the huge black hole with which strangers a recognition and a praise can fill only directly in the middle gapes. If you have allowed the carrier of a black hole to involve yourself in dispute, it will not release you to a full recognition of its absolute superiority.

As with it to agree:

To disarm the debater, behave as if you very long time ago recognised its authority on all areas of human thought. As a rule, debaters of rather high opinion on the mental faculties, therefore the best tactics in dialogue with them-any criticism and is instructive-parental intonations. Even if you the doctor of sciences, and the debater can brag unless of the inquiry on the termination of seven classes, listen to its arguments attentively and respectfully, differently you from it will achieve nothing.

Is useless to say to the debater, that it is not right. He will apprehend it as attempt to undermine its authority and will immediately rush to attack. After that even the telling arguments will be paid no attention. Your problem-show to it, that there are other points of view, at the same time not calling in question its correctness.

The best way to force it to change the opinion-push to the necessary thought, yes so that it seemed to it, that it he to all has guessed. Set to it leading questions while it will not open for itself(himself) the alternative point of view. Ask it, as the pupil of the teacher: "And what will be, if?. And can, it is necessary to try?."

If and leading questions in what have not resulted, it is necessary to the debater to concede-let does, as considers it necessary. Here you will see, when at it problems will begin, he will come to you behind the help. The Main thing-not to warn him about it in advance!