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Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
If you had legal issues, the problems connected with realisation of your rights, and also the questions, concerning legislations, write.
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Possibly, wide scope of this disaster is connected by that generation of idle mums with the big ambitions has grown up. Usually it is the formed women from 25 till 30 years which or put in the only child all that they have received less in the childhood, or realise thus creative energy. The energy. Happens and on the contrary. Working mums are afraid, that because of the employment cannot give to the child something, and compensate absence of the attention every possible employment. But where a golden mean?
We are born, that a fairy tale to make былью
Ten years ago, when only there were Nikitin's developing games the cubes, it was so fine so it is new! And mums who have received holiday for three years, have excitedly rushed to it to play. First from idea of early development there was one continuous advantage. While it did not become fashionable.
In what the principle of early training and development consisted? Playing to train потихонечку kiddies in English — in songs, a moulding — with a puppet theatre, to reading — on signboards. In game as the problem was — not to train children to a subject and to show variety of the world, to learn to take pleasure in intellectual and creative employment, to communicate to own children.
But severe "the aunt the Fashion" on the sly grew, and here already infinite, numerous courses and employment fall upon a head of the child. Mums were surprised: why the kid cries and does not wish to go on employment? He and so has got tired after a garden, it home would like, to mum, to the toys, to the TV, eventually. And it drag on unnecessary employment any absolutely to it, tear off from mum, and after all it so on it has become bored for a day!
Principle of a worm
Dejla Carnegie have very intelligible image: "When you go to fish, you насаживаете on a hook of a worm. Though personally you prefer a strawberry with cream. But fish loves worms, therefore you offer it a worm, instead of a strawberry".
Let's tell fairly: all additional employment (in most cases) amuse ambition of parents. Yes, of course, there are children strongly pronounced abilities and requirements. These abilities should be developed, cared and cultivated. But their employment in a kindergarten suffice the majority of kids. The standard program of average group of a kindergarten includes a moulding, drawing, musical employment, mathematics, designing, reading, natural study and physical culture. In some gardens there are still paid lessons of a foreign language and rhythmics. For the small little man it is already a lot of.
The cub does not understand, that the foreign language is necessary for its future career. He loves these lessons because the teacher young and beautiful ("a strawberry with cream") and is tender to it talks. Or does not love — if the teacher is not pleasant.
Children should have a childhood
The carefree childhood filled with rest and joyful expectation of new day. Toys, machines, скакалочки and салочки. With the fairy tales read for night by mum, not because so it is necessary, that is why, that so is sweet to sit at mum on hands and not to be afraid. Ahead a long life, and all this life it is necessary to study. And the childhood will fly quickly, and let there are about this childhood pure, light memoirs. If it is not present, children stuffed with every possible knowledge and skills, but deprived of parental attention and love, get sooner or later to the children's psychologist. With complaints to an enuresis, a bad dream, unsociability. Not contact, clamped, perfectly trained children. Do not deprive of their such simple pleasure: to play, roll machines, to draw kalja-malja, to play about. This time soon will pass.
Certainly, all wish the child only the best. To leave the child alone that it grew "as a grass", — too not the best variant. The another matter what to be engaged with the child there is a sense for the sake of its well-being instead of that was what to show to friends and acquaintances. It is necessary for the child, that you have helped it to develop with its own rate and accepted active participation in its development. After all education, eventually, means not influence, and interaction, cooperation with the child. And the most important thing in it is not to dull natural inquisitiveness of the child and to answer all its questions. It is not terrible, if the child learns to read, only having gone to school at seven-year age. Worse if it to school loses interest to training as to activity which to it imposed since the birth. After all business not in that, how many and that the kid will know, and in what he will grow — the inquisitive and creative or embittered bore who is a lot of about what heard, but wants nothing.
Lacks of "early start"
Today from different directions words that we live in "an information society" that the main thing today is the intelligence are audible. From this many parents do a conclusion that the child should receive huge intellectual loadings literally from the cradle. In it pledge of successful career, a safe life and so on sees. Actually early start not always gives advantage. We will try to give reason for this position and to illustrate with its concrete examples.
The brain of the child ripens gradually. At first ripen the nervous centres which are responsible for breath and digestion, then — for movement and only then — for the emotional control, will and reading. If compulsorily to break this sequence, if to start to develop the reading centres before will ripen previous, formation of the child can deviate norm.
Excessive intellectual pressure causes blood inflow to a brain bark. Blood supply of the centres which are responsible for breath, digestion, palpitation therefore there are angiospasms is thus impoverished — and, accordingly, the child receives the whole bouquet of diseases. The reasons of spasms at children's age also are connected and with psychological pressure which very much and very often arises at those whom ahead of time put for school desks.
Psychological pressure is caused in many children by other general reason — the high mental potential adjoins to low level of socialisation, emotional tolerance. That it, God forbid, does not happen with your child, do not forget, that it all the same not object, and the subject of training, not walking "Pentium", and the little man, with the tastes, propensities and interests.
Practical advice to parents
That parents did not take a great interest excessively in too early and too "all-round" development of the fumes, psychologists advise to them to observe simple rules. Here some of them.
Do not transform successes of the kid into an occasion to show before acquaintances its unusual abilities. From this it will take out one: I am engaged not because to me interestingly and to surprise mum's girlfriends.
Do not pursue Montessori's fashionable frameworks, Nikitin's cubes etc. Perhaps, to begin costs from a usual nursery пирамидки and the wooden designer — after all it too developing games.
Today there is a weight of developing techniques, but it is not so obligatory to follow principles of the unique. Choose in everyone that is close and clear to you and it is interesting to the kid.
Having decided to be engaged in early development, do not buy up successively all grants. Let the child at first will master something one.
Anybody to you will not tell, at what age of your child it is necessary to learn to colours or figures. Only you can solve, with what to begin employment. The main thing — be not overzealous and do not overload the kid with knowledge, and move forward gradually — from very simple to simple, from simple — to hardly to more difficult.
Refuse temptation to allocate for "development" certain time. In these employment a regularity — not the most important thing. Much more important for them good mood of parents and the kid, enthusiasm and desire to "develop". Listen to the child who has suddenly taken a great interest only in letters or only folding of cubes. Let he is engaged in that is interesting to it, instead of that at you now under the schedule.
Do not insist on employment if the child is absorbed by game in dolls or machines. And if you were seized right now by a developing itch, ask for its game.
Best "technique" of development — dialogue. Your employment will be unilateral if between them you do not speak with the child. About what? Yes about all on light …