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Family and children
Fork: motherhood and career
The modern woman – эмансипэ and the feminist – often puts itself in a choice situation: the child or work, motherhood or career. That or it, this or that. Two ways different, apparently. Two straight lines crossed only in a point of a choice. But only whether there?
Fork illusion
We stand on a fork and we argue … absolutely useless employment, for two reasons. The first: AFTER sorts to think late, it is necessary to bring up, raise, develop the new person. On it forces and time are necessary, they do not suffice on thought. And to argue TO – it is senseless. You so do not represent all change which will occur with such familiar and habitual you.
Even you will notice them. Whether I knew, what I will begin to sit with spokes and I will elicit on own birthday the sewing machine? No, it was impossible! I remember, how we giggled in students over the girl who was dragged with a yarn. At it even the nickname was «Family happiness», we were jazykasto-sharp and is very young-malicious. There have passed some years before I have uttered: «Career of the woman– family happiness».
The second reason – illusiveness of a fork. The modern woman can and should (if wishes) to combine these ways, it is one way, instead of two. Mum to be cheerful if correctly to place accents. And самовыражаться it is necessary, differently you will cease to be interesting and, and the child.
Mum to be
When you last time paid attention to the shade? And what them happens two and three? We so long tried to become adults that have absolutely forgotten as it is possible to look at this world in another way. To us, with ours зашоренными and замыленными eyes never to recollect and not to guess, that the shower and a fountain is one and too. Only a shower – downwards, and a fountain – upwards.
And here it - possibility once again to consider this world which suddenly to become bright as soap bubbles and гуашевые paints. And special relish that eyes at you again nurseries, and brains already adult.
However, some do not wish to notice these new eyes: children's questions consider silly, calls for help – whims, research of the new earths – overindulgence.
And the small person with each minute all becomes more independent. It requires your help ever less. After a while it will start to hesitate to go with you along the street, not small already.
Catch the moment while he wants to you on hands, then it you will not lift. While he tells to you about all fears and problems. Then will be ashamed to approach once again at friends. And you will stand aside, and to envy these friends, they know about your son more than you … are necessary to You such independence? However, I for myself not strongly worry, hoping to become "world" mum. Also I do not hasten to give the son to a kindergarten.
Irreversibility of process
The thought on it has literally pierced me. And the consciousness has photographed world around as it happens minutes of strong shocks. I very well remember grey spring day. I now FOR EVER mum, I do not belong to myself. That is only to itself. I now for ever together. If, of course, I will stop on it. And except the huge feeling of the responsibility which failed on me and has overflowed with a head, there was still something.
Now I have no right stand on a place, it is impossible for me to be boring, lazy and not interesting. I should vary, constantly, every day, every minute thinking out and recollecting something else. My son – the person of the new generation, a new century, and I do not wish to lag behind it.
I wish to understand it so should work over itself. A circle will close, process is irreversible, the return way is not present.
It is a little about words
Phrase «have got the child» always irritated me. What means to get? To get it is possible a dog, or a cat, or попугайчика. He/she is the person! Expression «to give birth to the child» me too did not arrange, did not reflect a process essence, from my point of view. Somehow too physiologically. I searched for a word … And have found: to give a life to the person. I knew, that when it will occur to me, it will be called so.
And when it has occurred, I have caught one more nuance. All should be during that moment … When is ready to sit at home year-one and a half-two, to the detriment of career, but not to the detriment of personal growth. When it is ready to give all forces to this kid. After all it is the most important project of your life.
Long-term, energo - and материальнозатратный. And in it it is necessary to be put, as in any other work. It is necessary to do it well. It is necessary to do it best other works. Because for the woman it is the main work!! No not to grow up posterity, and to help to grow persons. It is difficult. It is responsible. It is interesting. And it is necessary to go to this way осознанно. Not being tormented at the crossroads, and precisely knowing - me there.
We stand on a fork and we argue … absolutely useless employment, for two reasons. The first: AFTER sorts to think late, it is necessary to bring up, raise, develop the new person. On it forces and time are necessary, they do not suffice on thought. And to argue TO – it is senseless. You so do not represent all change which will occur with such familiar and habitual you.
Even you will notice them. Whether I knew, what I will begin to sit with spokes and I will elicit on own birthday the sewing machine? No, it was impossible! I remember, how we giggled in students over the girl who was dragged with a yarn. At it even the nickname was «Family happiness», we were jazykasto-sharp and is very young-malicious. There have passed some years before I have uttered: «Career of the woman– family happiness».
The second reason – illusiveness of a fork. The modern woman can and should (if wishes) to combine these ways, it is one way, instead of two. Mum to be cheerful if correctly to place accents. And самовыражаться it is necessary, differently you will cease to be interesting and, and the child.
Mum to be
When you last time paid attention to the shade? And what them happens two and three? We so long tried to become adults that have absolutely forgotten as it is possible to look at this world in another way. To us, with ours зашоренными and замыленными eyes never to recollect and not to guess, that the shower and a fountain is one and too. Only a shower – downwards, and a fountain – upwards.
And here it - possibility once again to consider this world which suddenly to become bright as soap bubbles and гуашевые paints. And special relish that eyes at you again nurseries, and brains already adult.
However, some do not wish to notice these new eyes: children's questions consider silly, calls for help – whims, research of the new earths – overindulgence.
And the small person with each minute all becomes more independent. It requires your help ever less. After a while it will start to hesitate to go with you along the street, not small already.
Catch the moment while he wants to you on hands, then it you will not lift. While he tells to you about all fears and problems. Then will be ashamed to approach once again at friends. And you will stand aside, and to envy these friends, they know about your son more than you … are necessary to You such independence? However, I for myself not strongly worry, hoping to become "world" mum. Also I do not hasten to give the son to a kindergarten.
Irreversibility of process
The thought on it has literally pierced me. And the consciousness has photographed world around as it happens minutes of strong shocks. I very well remember grey spring day. I now FOR EVER mum, I do not belong to myself. That is only to itself. I now for ever together. If, of course, I will stop on it. And except the huge feeling of the responsibility which failed on me and has overflowed with a head, there was still something.
Now I have no right stand on a place, it is impossible for me to be boring, lazy and not interesting. I should vary, constantly, every day, every minute thinking out and recollecting something else. My son – the person of the new generation, a new century, and I do not wish to lag behind it.
I wish to understand it so should work over itself. A circle will close, process is irreversible, the return way is not present.
It is a little about words
Phrase «have got the child» always irritated me. What means to get? To get it is possible a dog, or a cat, or попугайчика. He/she is the person! Expression «to give birth to the child» me too did not arrange, did not reflect a process essence, from my point of view. Somehow too physiologically. I searched for a word … And have found: to give a life to the person. I knew, that when it will occur to me, it will be called so.
And when it has occurred, I have caught one more nuance. All should be during that moment … When is ready to sit at home year-one and a half-two, to the detriment of career, but not to the detriment of personal growth. When it is ready to give all forces to this kid. After all it is the most important project of your life.
Long-term, energo - and материальнозатратный. And in it it is necessary to be put, as in any other work. It is necessary to do it well. It is necessary to do it best other works. Because for the woman it is the main work!! No not to grow up posterity, and to help to grow persons. It is difficult. It is responsible. It is interesting. And it is necessary to go to this way осознанно. Not being tormented at the crossroads, and precisely knowing - me there.
The author: Vasilisa Titov