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Legal consultation

Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
If you had legal issues, the problems connected with realisation of your rights, and also the questions, concerning legislations, write.

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Family and children

Civil marriage

If to begin занудничать and to understand terms what unexpected thing is found out here. The civil marriage is at all that we think, and the union registered by department of Civil registration. That is the REGISTRY OFFICE. The civil marriage has arisen in 1917, after revolution and actively took root the authorities into the people as a counterbalance to traditional church marriage.

 

The big Russian encyclopaedia defines a civil marriage as "the marriage issued in corresponding public authorities without participation of church", and Brockhaus and Efron's Small encyclopaedic dictionary adds: "Struggle between church and the state has led to an establishment in the majority of the European countries of the civil form of marriage according to which marriage consists without participation of clergy by public authorities." So it is primary under the term "civil marriage" meant the family relations which have been not consecrated with sacrament of wedding, but recognised as the state.

 

The first civil marriage, in 1917 has registered Alexander Kolontaj with the spouse. By the way, this union was not successful and after a while has broken up.  Nevertheless, that ours with you conversation could proceed successfully, and all understood, about what there is a speech, suggest to name, still, "civil marriage" co-habitation of the man and the woman.

 

So. Still long since the similar unions were widespread at court yard, counties, estates etc. The reasons are clear: the class inequality and parental ambitions often did not give possibility to incorporate to loving hearts.  Today a situation other, but "civil marriages" among youth including very much распространенны. According to census of 2002, every tenth marriage in our country is "civil".

 

And again I was pulled to dictionaries therefore as has decided to find out, and what actually such "marriage"?

 

If to glance in Brockhaus and Efron's small encyclopaedic dictionary, it "the constant union of the man with the woman for the purpose of creation of a family and sort continuation; uses protection and protection of laws ONLY AT FULFILLMENT UNDER KNOWN FORMS … attracts behind itself known legal consequences in the field of personal and property rights and duties of spouses under the relation to each other and to children (the right to the maintenance, inheritance and so forth)."

 

According to the Soviet encyclopaedic dictionary, marriage – a matrimony of the man and the woman, generating their rights and duties under the relation to each other and to children.

 

It is interesting, that Russian word "marriage" occurs from a word to "take".

 

Proceeding from all aforesaid, I risk to assume, that, marrying, partners incur certain obligations rather each other. And, that is important,  it becomes before significant instance - before the God (in church), before the law (in the REGISTRY OFFICE), and before people - "witnesses", (though now participation of "witnesses" in marriage ceremony is not obligatory). By the way, the tradition from here originates to do wedding as much as possible public, to print "announcements" in newspapers, to organise a noisy celebration, to convoke relatives and friends.

 

Therefore and unpretentious and quiet "civil marriage" is lovely to the people who have got tired of obligations, or afraid them for the unknown reason.  Its advantages in freedom of relations. Such unions which have been not burdened by a stamp in the passport, are not burdened also by social stereotypes concerning home life. The civil marriage is as much as possible opened to experiments and creativity. Whereas frequently, in official marriage, people are inclined to perceive "second half" as the property. As Ambroz Bierce spoke: "In marriage quite often on sincerity change diplomacy, on change to trust - manipulation comes, and feelings are replaced with a habit».

 

I very much like Englishmen. They, as anybody another, worry about sincere health. Having analysed data of interrogation of 4,5 thousand men and women, are more younger 65 years, English scientists have noticed, that men and women who enter strong relations and remain it are true, have good sincere health. At the same time,  madam Benzeval from Queen Mary University of London considers: «Absence of material and financial security, and, hence, confidence, explains, why at women who live together with the partners, weaker mentality, than at married women». It соратница Паула the Hall, adviser Relate, in the interview of the Air Forces has told the same history: «For women the confidence is more important, for men it has smaller value. For them to feel important in a trap. That is why they feel better in co-habitation».

 

English scientists have not regretted time, and having analysed data of large interrogation (British Household Panel), have found out, that strong partnership favorably influence mentality, and rupture - is negative, for both floors though setting of new partnership partially compensates a negative effect, but it is required to women to more time for that it will be restored, than to men. Marriage long time was considered as pledge of good sincere health, especially for men. The previous researches have shown, that at people who marry, more life expectancy, it is less death rate and the psychological condition, than at who does not have family is better.

 

However!  Such form of relations as co-habitation is better approaches for sincere health of men while the woman is done happy only by marriage. Interestingly, as, that is easier than the man, than women transfer parting.

 

Here after all, there is in what a secret! Simply vulnerable man's mentality so is intricately arranged!

 

The woman, stopping on any man, also speaks to itself: here the person with whom I am going to live all life. Also wishes to build with it a family. To it it is not clear: why he accurately does not declare, how many years (weeks, months) are intended with it to live, if does not put a stamp in the passport. And it is not clear, why it is not registered, if it completely suits it, he is intended to live with it vaguely long and even would like to have the general with it children. Also it is not clear, why it which considers unimportant presence of this stamp, to all acquaintances speaks: "I single" whereas she speaks about the civil husband "I married". There is one million questions, answers on which, nobody gives.

 

Certainly, the woman would like guarantees. And it is not simple блаж. The strong back is necessary for the woman . Because its problem – to take out and give birth to the child. And this uneasy employment  demands serious efforts, and switches off on couple of years from an active social life. And the woman wishes to be confident, that this time it and the child will be обеспеченны all necessary. Care and love including.

 

I am perfect anything against civil marriages I have no. Why also is not present, if two adult persons have decided to live simply together, not becoming thus to relatives. Yes on health!

 

Thus they joyfully anything each other not should also to all волшебно well. Idyll can last somehow long. In my opinion, the situation in a root varies with the advent of children. Because родительство imposes a heap of absolutely serious obligations. And the basic burden, by tradition, falls on fragile female shoulders. Already roughly also is inappropriate to recollect those easy and free relations which were in the beginning, under the motto: «To us it is together good, and this main thing».

 

«The family code» – extremely entertaining книженция, not such simple as it seems at first sight. If the child is born in "civil marriage" the father can be written down in the corresponding column, only with the consent of mother. If mother counts more favourable the status of single mother the daddy needs to cry bitterly. In any way, well it дитю cannot give the surname in any way, and reserve the parental rights. And if to the woman will come in a head to use the guy as "the donor of sperm" - in a life never to prove it the paternity as DNA analysis needs the consent of mother. To observe of the favourite child, swallowing of avaricious man's tears, because of a garden fence, then schools – here sad destiny of such daddy. And only when the child becomes full age, it is possible to trap him in a gate, and with a cry: «I your daddy!», will rush to it on a breast. Certainly, such situation – a rarity. But that only in a life does not happen …

 

Girls, in general the people especial, on anybody not the similar. Since the childhood, the girl, in much bigger degree, rather than boys, ориентированны on a family. Babes play brides, in a daughter-mother and will become engrossed in reading of fairy tales on love. A white dress, flowers, rings, a limousine with dolls - here, that to expensively maiden heart. Symbols! The desire to touch them is put in pawn in genes. If suddenly, suddenly,  their marriage has lost, it is not known, whether there was it still, such desired. Let's present, that wedding remains without romanticism inherent in it. The traditional campaign in a registry office could be compared on a visit in ЖЭК. Have come, have put signatures and have left. Have dispersed on works. I think, would spill female tears on a theme «much less Why he does not wish to marry me?!»

 

Should be, some our fears, installations and stereotypes were transferred to us together with a molecule of DNA from a far antiquity. In any way I differently cannot explain unwillingness of men to marry. Earlier, yes, clearly. The man was the getter and contained a family. Meanwhile in a family happened children немеренно (in villages especially). And all of them required at least meal and clothes. Was from what to catch at a head!

 

Thus for the sake of justice, I, am ready to admit what to provide a family much more difficultly, than to be engaged in the house, to raise children and to conduct an economy.  

 

Let's recollect, besides fairy tales. Easily and easy the fine princes who are not knowing cares on household themes married mostly. Country children, waited, while any magic force will build it a palace, at least, or the cat will eat the naive cannibal, having released, thus, a living space the young.

 

However! The situation has radically changed after arrival of the Soviet power when women began to work on a level with men. In 60 – 80 th years of the last century the woman – the housewife was a rarity, an unusual case. All women worked, earned money. About what maintenance of a family there is a speech? Just spouses halved this aspect of life. And here cares of an economy, children, the house, by ancient tradition, still, got to the woman. Reorganisation has a little shaken the established order.  The enterprises were liquidated by packs together with насиженными workplaces. Weights of women, however, as well as men was out of work, with a speciality which is necessary to nobody. There was a possibility not to work, remain at home and to be engaged in an economy. I believe,  during this critical time it was necessary to men hardly. Probably, they had to show many courage and enterprise what to remain afloat. But women faced the same difficulties, and only the small part has chosen from them to itself a role of the housewife. Now the situation was stabilised, and besides, according to census of 2002, the majority of women works. So history about a family which should be contained, becoming exhausted – a favourite myth of men. Marrying, the man receives the arranged life, the cosy house, and the woman – object for indefatigable care. So to whom, it is asked, it is favourable?  

 

And still, to try to explain rationally necessity to have a family – time waste. Unless to repeat infinitely a water glass in an old age. There is on that theme a good joke.  Simply in human genes is put in pawn to live in steam. Therefore such trouble for us – loneliness. A typical case: till thirty years the man rushes with freedom as with a hand-written feed bag, and jumps aside from any serious relations, guessing for them maniacal desire to drag it in the REGISTRY OFFICE. After 30 (35)th years, the man starts to groan from loneliness and absence of related soul as all who were ready to give him this soul, have already married and have evaporated from its horizon. Young girls seem it empty, mercenary and near, and all because in the previous race our hero and has not learnt to create and build the relation. 

On the one hand, of course, "civil marriage" means big freedom of relations. But it is frequent only visibility. Happen and in the registered marriage of the relation more than free. That "civil marriage" releases from obligations, I as cannot agree. Because any coexistence means by itself certain obligations. Whether it be friendship, or the neighbourhood, and especially co-habitation is simple.  And to carry out them, or not to carry out, it is a separate theme. It is possible and to ignore in a legal marriage the duties, examples one million. How many women at whom on a neck all family sits. Children clearly, and the husband too. It lays at home, on a sofa, conditionally speaking, or simply earns three copecks, and it and on work sticks also at home. But a legal marriage. And would be "civil" so there is a probability, it would not began to suffer such state of affairs. So there are no guarantees, unfortunately. In human relations especially.

 

It is necessary to concern the economic party of a question. We will admit, in the course of long or not so family happiness you have got any things or even the real estate. At civil "divorce" everyone remains exclusively at the acquired or bought property. For example, relatives of the husband have presented apartment: under the law it belongs only to it, and you after long years of dwelling in become native walls should pack urgently вещички and to search to yourselves for a new haven. There is also other situation, tragical when one of the spouses perishes, all its property passes to close relatives into which list the civil wife or the husband is not included. If there are no registered relations, in case of section of property of the spouse each other — extraneous people. However all flows, as they say, and changes. Here Already new Family code of the Ukraine which has taken effect since January, 1st, 2004, has entered into the reference a number of new concepts – engagement, the marriage contract, a civil marriage. The new Family code recognises "civil marriage" of one of forms of the organisation of a family in which there is a general joint property and children born in such marriage, have the same rights, as born in the registered. If other states follow to this example, the side between "civil marriage" and registered practically will be erased.