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Barbarian Diordieva - the lawyer, an analyst.
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Family and children

Two etudes about чайлдфри

The theme чайлдфри last months grows popularity. And in mass-media it reveals it in the basic two ways – or by means of a monologue from the first person in the spirit of «Yes, I such», or by small portrait sketches with an explanation, what complexities at these people in personal or in a public life.

And, thanks numerous publications, in public consciousness the image «average чайлдфри» has already started to develop. Even at those who live чайлдфри never in eyes saw.

Чайлдфри eyes of associates

To begin with small deviation: there is an ideology, and there are people who divide it. To take, for example, ideology of hippie: the world, pleasure, a nonviolence, florets, free love. Also what? It at all does not stir (or already it is necessary to write in last time? – Did not prevent) to be to separate representatives of this movement troublemaking, irritable, grown and monogamous.

The same with чайлдфри: whatever complete was the ideology, in a life always there is a place to individual distinctions. Therefore it is correct to lead conversation only on ideas чайлдфри and their perception associates.

The thesis 1. Чайлдфри hate children

Between indifference and furious negation the distance of the huge size lays. I, let us assume, here do not love fried vegetable marrows. However my dislike did not reach yet rushing into restaurants with shouts: «Down with fried vegetable marrows!».

On the other hand, much depends on behaviour of associates. If every morning to me suggest to eat only fried vegetable marrows, the neigbour in the lift is interested, when in my diet there will be fried vegetable marrows, and colleagues on work inform: «Who does not eat fried vegetable marrows, that in general is not clear, what for lives», you see, and to howl.

With the third party, there are also certain borders in behaviour нелюбителя vegetable marrows. If I begin to rush on absolutely harmless vegetable marrow laying nearby two conclusions arise: or with нервишками something is not perfectly in order, or the theme of vegetable marrows for me is absolutely intolerable for deeply personal reasons.

And now instead of «fried vegetable marrows» we substitute a word "children", the essence from it will not change. And so, the ideology чайлдфри does not assume any hatred to children, only full indifference. And consequently – unwillingness to be engaged in in relation to what you do not test any enthusiasm. All the same to recognise difficult not, that it is much more reasonable, than to get the child because «so it is necessary at my age».

The thesis 2. At чайлдфри there was a psychological or sexual trauma which became the reason of their "strange" belief

The statement partly fair, but not indisputable. Especially after in a camp чайлдфри there are people with the harmonious childhood and cloudless past. They that here do? In this respect there are two assumptions. The first – among чайлдфри enough social перфекционистов.

That is, too responsible people. From a series: «I want, that my child had all the best – a food, a kindergarten, the most beautiful clothes». As such people are usually deprived financial possibilities to arrange to the child all the best they and at all refuse to have children. Either all – or anything.

There is also a second category of citizens. They aggressively enough condemn motherhood under the pretext that a planet is overpopulated. What it, apparently, business to a planet? The reason of their aggression so lays on a surface that is absolutely lost sight.

Many чайлдфри during the life have been deprived normal high-grade loneliness. Absence of own room, constantly flickering relatives, the parental control – was everything, everything, except the necessary concentration of loneliness. The impossibility to remain to one is a principle of all corrective and prison establishments.

And here, when possibility to take pleasure in long-awaited loneliness, at last, began to dawn, the society demands, that you have got the child? Чайлдфри, feeling sharp requirement for loneliness, can allow itself it only when will be sated with own independence.

The thesis 3. Чайлдфри are proabortionists

It is still good, what not carpet bombardments. In practice all ideas чайлдфри can be reduced to the one and only formulation: «the Birth of the child should be the realised step. These should be engaged only in that to whom it to liking. And all other – to be engaged in favourite affairs and to cease to think about« it is necessary »and тиканье internal clocks».

If someone thirsts to reduce birth rate at the expense of abortions, it, to put it mildly, very strange representations about contraception.

Чайлдфри eyes of the sociologist

Heightened interest to movement чайлдфри is in many respects provoked by serious changes in a society. Until recently hundreds generations lived and worked, proceeding from a principle: we do it for the sake of children. Which as it was meant, it will be easier, сытнее, more comfortably and more happily. Therefore it is necessary to suffer.

And here in one fine day it has appeared what to suffer it is not necessary any more. It is necessary to live here and now: to rejoice lives and to have time to snip off more pleasures. Or – for those who is more serious – it is necessary to work, do career and to develop. After all it also is two most widespread answers to a question: «Why you do not wish to get children?».

Such change has occurred more recently and imperceptibly enough. How it happens?

First, at people (at least, in large cities) superfluous money were got. And where there is a surplus – there immediately there is a necessity somewhere it to attach. About it even in history textbooks it is written: as soon as ancient Egyptians had surpluses of food, they have started to get at once to themselves slaves.

At the modern person surplus of means has started to leave in a trice on entertainments. Which quantity (demand gives rise to the offer) began to increase in a geometrical progression. It is already difficult to believe, that else fifteen years ago in cities there was no place to move to sit – it was necessary to gather at somebody on a visit or (in a teenage variant) at an entrance.

Secondly, there was such piece, as social mobility. Vicious practice «institute – distribution – all life on one workplace» is forgotten for a long time. Instead of it possibility to change a place of work of times in 2-3 years began to be appreciated, to change employment sphere, to receive an additional education. And it really appears fascinating.

Is also "thirdly" – typically Russian accent. It it was already mentioned in connection with those who refuses to have children of that is incapable to give them «all the best». That is, there is a mass knowledge of high standards of a life which it is absolutely impossible to reach. But we not begin to begin this long tiresome song about hypothecary credits.

And who will after that assert, what чайлдфри – fiends? They simply result of social changes available for us. And, occurring in megacities. Notice: in settlements and small towns – any чайлдфри. And it is true: there absolutely other problems.